Today, I worked while Hubby stayed at home. This is unusual… he works long hours in a tough job and it’s rare for our time to work out this way.
When I came home, everything seemed pretty much fine. But soon, there were signs that not all was well with the clan. Hubby looked drawn, disheveled and defeated. Master Five had been banished to his room. Miss One was OK; clamouring for my attention, slightly oddly dressed, but OK. The house was a mess, understandably. The dinner was not planned or cooked.
In past years, I would have felt angry that I couldn’t leave the house to Hubby to know he’ll take care of everything. But something different happened today. I realised that at 5.30 at night I am often in a similar state.
What I finally realised is that what all the career planners tell you is true. As a mother, you develop and deploy a whole lot of skills that are really valuable in the workplace. It always sounded rational and right, but tonight I finally felt it was true.
So, what is it I’m so great at?
- managing one year olds
- managing five year olds
- not even noticing I’ve had to battle the one year old to get her dressed
- not getting caught up in the five year olds’ rebellious acts, failure to hear anything important, ability to hear what I don’t want him too, etc.
- not losing the five year old at the park
- understanding that if I lose the five year old at the park, it’s not his fault
- being glad I found the five year old at the park, even if he is talking to some strange-looking bloke
- extracting information from the five year old about what happened in the 20 minutes he was lost
- knowing that I will only be able to extract the information before I start shouting at him, not after
- not shouting at the five year old because he’s already feeling somewhat insecure because he thinks I lost him (not realising he actually lost me, it’s all his fault)
- reminding the five year old about ’stranger danger’
- learning from my mistakes, including not really running any sort of concerted campaign around ’stranger danger’
- making a plan for kids’ dinner even if it’s not a perfect plan and is enacted in a haphazard way
- providing the kids’ dinner before they turn psycho and start to wonder if anyone is going to feed them
- coping with psycho kids when I haven’t fed them in time
- doing the dishes and cleaning the toilet and putting on the washing even though I’m dead tired and the kids are still carrying on not sleeping when they should (hang on… I’d better go put on the washing!)
- cleaning up poo from the bath
etc….
So, back to the career planners: how am I ever going to use any of these skills in the workplace? Let me give this a shot…
- managing difficult people in a way which keeps you sane and on track and at the same time enables them to develop new skills and possibly – occasionally – change their ways
- negotiating
- predicting difficult situations – risk assessment
- solving problems that you have created or that are thrown at you when you least expect it
- managing your own emotional responses to things, stepping back, finding a way through
- accepting the consequences of your actions without carrying them around like a weight around your neck
- making a plan, enacting the plan, changing the plan
- following through on difficult tasks
- facing the tasks no-one else wants to do
